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"I love this face!!"
(taken at Chez moi)

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Katie Parker-Jennings shared an Instagram photo with you

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A personality develops!

Every day it seems Max is developing his character... whether it's a fleeting smile after I've kissed his neck, or waving his arms at me when I come close.. We are seeing that this little boy is so strong. Strong in temperament as well as strength! The latest most obvious character development is his love for being outside. He could be crying his eyes out in side with no hope of consoling him, you step outside and the upset immediately changes to contentment. I love it! He loves looking around, staring at the trees and the sky, just taking it all in. He sat on my lap this evening in the garden, swinging in our 'secret garden' holding my finger, listening to music, looking around. 

It was by fluke I discovered this, he'd been going between sleep and crying and fussing for a couple hours, when I thought I'd just put him in the buggy and go for a walk..  No sooner was he strapped in and on the move, those little tired red eyes did all they could to stay awake, taking in everything above him. Daily walks are now a must, and an evening cuddle in the garden...!

                  

My day

Today was the busiest, most full day yet with Maxwell..

• Up at 08:45, showered while Maxou sat looking around... out and dressed, fed him a little before getting ready to leave the house. We aimed for 09:15, but managed 09:25, not so bad apart from we were 15 minutes away from a 09:30 appointment, oops! The six week check up went without a hitch, and I got the all clear, 'healing nicely' doc said! Oh goodie!

• Upon leaving the appointment, Max needed changing and wanted to be fed, so climbing into the back of the car, another car park change and feed commenced! I'm getting quite used to feeding on the go! Leaving Generations, we headed back a few blocks to visit 'Borders', they had a 'huge going out of business' sign outside.. perused around the sales for an hour or so, buying a game, and a couple stamping sets.

• Leaving Borders, Max was ready to have more food, yet another pit stop in the car park, climbing into the back seat again... He was quite content after that and promptly passed out, allowing me to run errands for the next few hours.

• We headed to Costco next, filled up with petrol, and collected my sister's contacts she had ordered.

• From Costco we stopped at the Starbucks drive-thru for a much needed 'big as I can buy' iced coffee!

• Trader Joes was the next stop for a well over due food shop for the week. 

Helping me with the food shopping!

• Old Navy and Target were next.. quick run round and home bound.

• Home now to do the house work! Max slept another hour or so after being fed which allowed me to put all the food away and wash all the floors downstairs and the stairs.

Love these smiles after being fed!

• Skyped with Mum and Dad for a little, Max was quite responsive 'sunshine and showers' as my Mum says, crying and smiling.. fussing, wanting to be fed, but tired. After talking with the family and catching up, I put Maxou in the baby bjorn and started preparing dinner; a quick and simple Mac and Cheese recipe (which actually ended up very bland). While preparing the food, Max passed out and I dropped cheese in his hair!

• Turns out Max couldn't make up his mind if he wanted to sleep or stay awake and so fussed about for the next few hours. MFJ came home around 19:00 and we were rocking on the porch. Kisses from Daddy and then a walk around the block. Max loves being outside, looking around tons!

Max loving being outdside!

• Home for another feeding, more kisses and cuddles. Fussing more so I end up eating my dinner standing up while rocking him.

• Finally, it looks like Max is out for the count, gently put him in his bed and finish up folding the laundry, gathering up the house rubbish for bin-day tomorrow, put away the cleaning stuff bought at Target, clean the toilet, and put on more washing.

• Finally, as I'm about to sit down Max starts crying, he doesn't seem to want to stop, so more cuddles and consoling him back to sleep. I get the laptop and camera and phone and sync and upload everything with Maxou sleeping in my arms, once happy he's deeply sleeping, I lay him next to me, and I type away.

• 22:04 MFJ comes up to bed, taking his son from me and having his own cuddles. 

I sit back and look forward to Max waking up so I get to smell my sweet boy one more time and have more cuddles. There is not one minute that I don't want to be holding him. I love him so much.

How?

How to decipher what is right or wrong.. how to choose the right thing to do. I don't think you can. I don't think that there is always a right answer, and I especially think that whatever decision you make when it comes to your children, there is always someone that will think you made the wrong choice.

How do you know if your child is crying because you did, or didn't do something? How do you shake the feelings that you were inadequate? I don't know how I can please the people that matter, let alone myself, and be happy with my decisions. I always consider, and care, and weigh out what is happening, but I am new at this job, and I know some things are not going to be ideal.

How is it that I am in knots when I know I put my child first, that I am upset and angry at a circumstance that happened, and for all intents and purposes, was successful. But, can be said that my actions negatively impacted my child, or is it coincidence that my child cry's after a day of doing things that other people may say they shouldn't have done.. who is to know. All I know, is that I will always put my son first, and try my best to do the best all the time, for my son and my family.